Loved this read so much!!! I've been following you on IG for quite some time now and I love and deeply resonate with the content you put out - it's thoughtful, inquisitive, refreshing, and it makes the reader think critically about why we do the silly things that we do.
I left my full time job last year and I can attest to the fact that I've had all of these thoughts and insecurities and revelations. Well written and well said. Life doesn't have to be this perfect upwards corporate trajectory that your teachers and parents (and the media) says is necessary for a “good life”. Life can just be a series of ups and downs, consistent and inconsistent paychecks and breaks… humans are weird creatures that for the most part don't fit in perfect little boxes, and that's I think that's beautiful.
Wow I can’t believe how many of us are on this journey right now! I LOVE the last few sentences you wrote, like truly life is just a series of breaks and inconsistencies and then periods of stability. Coming to terms with that actually gives me such a sense of relief (when I feel like a couple years ago that would’ve sent me in a tailspin!)
Thank you for sharing so much detail. So interesting. When I was 20, I got a job at a non profit teaching and after my orientation w someone else I mentioned my comp and it turned out I made more than the other person—I just assumed we’d both make the same. My hiring manager pulled me aside and shamed the shit out of me.
I spent the next decade quite broke and in debt and felt a lot of shame about it. But I was getting my PhD and it was impossible to afford life and I didn’t realize how many of my peers had parental help. it took me a long time to realize being quiet about money is a capitalist power play and encourages us to fester in some imagined inadequacy.
That might be why I ended up taking a truly random career pivot away from academia/ed where I now make about 5x more than I ever dreamed of. And yes, it’s in an insane field known to be horrible (think McKinsey/Goldman) but it’s actually a pretty great role and I live a pretty good lifestyle.
But the point is, I had another real money shock just recently, thanks to you. I was the person in your IG survey who made the highest income of those who reported and I was honestly shocked—and sort of embarrassed? I know this sounds absurd, but now near 40 and surrounded by a lot of highly educated, successful corporate types, I have people tell me I’m underpaid, and tbf, a lot of my peers are making double what I make, in the seven figures.
I am still not sure what I’m trying to say here because I’m still figuring out—sometimes there’s a strange guilt, almost sheepishness to have somehow become the class I never tried to become while doing something that is actually pretty cool and fulfilling. But other times I still feel money anxiety and like I haven’t figured it out despite having what is objectively quite a lot of money. And other times still I don’t relate to my work peers—I don’t buy designer or drive a nice/new car, or ski—my lifestyle doesn’t feel that different to friends making 25% of what I do.
So I’m not sure but these conversations should be more of the norm. Thanks for starting it
Wow, your comment makes me feel soooo many things. I’m SO grateful for you for commenting this and for just sitting thoughtfully in that realization from the money spreadsheet I did too. I think your perspective is so critical to this conversation. The idea that even with hundreds of thousands of dollars, so many still don’t feel secure and stable! It’s so important for bring that up, because it makes it so clear how made up this whole rat race is?!!! Thank you again for sharing and I hope you stay in the conversation! (Also I myself have a core memory of being shamed and pulled aside by a non-profit boss who, in a whispered tone, said I couldn’t talk about money with colleagues -______-)
I've been thinking about this more--re: not feeling secure and stable at a high income (when raised in middle/lower class), the context is usually correlated with being around other people at a high income, which usually correlates to top schools and top jobs (since economic mobility is relatively rare). In my case, literally 80% of my team has a parent who is a C-suite executive at a $1B+ company. So when you compare lifestyle and even attitudes and values to who is around you, the mentality is totally different. I made my stability, but I wasn't born with it. When you have a safety net, if not a trust fund, and most certainly a large inheritance, the existential starting point is totally different.
Just wanted to pop in and say I personally find it SO helpful to hear women’s real-life stories that currently feel unreachable to me. It opens my eyes to what is possible and gets my brain out of the “how to make this marginally better” category and straight into the “how do other people 10x?” line of thinking.
This is incredibly relatable for me- SO much of what you said including sitting with your feelings and reflecting off of them. It’s been such a wild year of uncertainty and this made me feel very seen. Thank you for sharing, Miriam 🤍
This felt like a gift. I’m in a very similar situation and am deeply grateful for your willingness to be open and vulnerable. You’ve captured so much of my experience here - it is validation I never expected to find. I’ve been following you for years and you’ve had an impact on my life. Thank you!
Thankful for your openness, your honesty, and most of all your courage — for being able to share and capture these raw feelings I’ve also felt and gone through ~
Such a big fan of your work! I always enjoy your content, hope you never stop being such a breath of fresh air!
I am in the middle of a career crisis and this was a very interesting point of view to help me reflect on what I want to do with my life. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for writing this! Your transparency about money and your whole thought process is incredibly interesting, and I'm sure really helpful for others. I quit my job last year for similar reasons but also because I needed a break for my mental health. I had a much smaller safety net of money (about 25k AUD total), which was really scary! But it's been almost a year and I'm way happier now pursuing different work options. It's so great seeing you talk about the many aspects to this experience, and I hope people in a similar boat can be inspired. 💕
I quit my job last year and took a 6 mo sabbatical! I didn’t earn enough money and had to go back to work, but I went back to work with a new mindset. I went through a lot of the shifts you mention here. Thanks for sharing! And well done! 👏🏻
This was so important for me to read. I'm planning a sabbatical and it feels like I'm planning a suicide which is mostly my own fears but also being in NYC and blah blah. So, thank you. I really needed to hear exactly all of this and I'm really proud of and inspired by you, internet stranger!
Thank you for sharing! Talking so transparently about money and the emotional impact of it can be intimidating, especially when the societal norm is to keep all that under wraps, but I appreciate you for doing so. More and more, we’re seeing people design their lives differently and more aligned with their values. It reminds me that we can reinvent what work means and everything else for that matter because we’re just upholding old, outdated beliefs from those who came before us. The rules can change. They can be reimagined for the better.
I recently quit my career (July 2024) for many of the same reasons you shared here and I had no backup plan. Just my savings and a brutally honest assessment of my values in life. I was also working a remote tech job in California. You sound like a soul sister. I'm so happy to have found you and I'll be checking out your socials and following your journey for sure. I can already tell you're going to do great in life! Thanks for putting this out there. It's incredibly reassuring and inspirational.
Oof I loooved listening to this, it’s really given me additional food for thought! I have long thought that I’m just “not the type” who could plunge into the unknown like you have (prettyyyyy solidly risk-averse), but the more time goes on the more insistently I feel the pull towards wanting to at least try to imagine something different. I feel a correlation here with the book club discussion around how we can’t collectively work towards making something new if we don’t have a vision for the future to begin with, and I love that you outlined some preliminary steps here to try in our own lives.
ALSO, YES to the idea of a portfolio career! I remember hearing that term and being very inspired by it (even if I am very uncertain as to whether/how it could apply to my own path) - there is something so freeing about realizing I could ACTUALLY (potentially) do ALL the different things that I’m intrigued or excited by or good at, without having to niche down - what a thought.
I don’t often read random substacks, but man am I glad this one came across my feed! I read every word and am dealing with a lot of the same “stories” you mention. Still working my FT job, feeling unfulfilled, and desiring a pivot. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably
Wow this piece resonates with me so deeply - this might just be the post that finally gets me to write on substack after saying I would for years! Thank you for your vulnerability - especially loved how you called out our anxieties and envy / fear are emotions to observe and pay attention to as they might reveal what we actually want!
Loved this read so much!!! I've been following you on IG for quite some time now and I love and deeply resonate with the content you put out - it's thoughtful, inquisitive, refreshing, and it makes the reader think critically about why we do the silly things that we do.
I left my full time job last year and I can attest to the fact that I've had all of these thoughts and insecurities and revelations. Well written and well said. Life doesn't have to be this perfect upwards corporate trajectory that your teachers and parents (and the media) says is necessary for a “good life”. Life can just be a series of ups and downs, consistent and inconsistent paychecks and breaks… humans are weird creatures that for the most part don't fit in perfect little boxes, and that's I think that's beautiful.
Wow I can’t believe how many of us are on this journey right now! I LOVE the last few sentences you wrote, like truly life is just a series of breaks and inconsistencies and then periods of stability. Coming to terms with that actually gives me such a sense of relief (when I feel like a couple years ago that would’ve sent me in a tailspin!)
Thank you for sharing so much detail. So interesting. When I was 20, I got a job at a non profit teaching and after my orientation w someone else I mentioned my comp and it turned out I made more than the other person—I just assumed we’d both make the same. My hiring manager pulled me aside and shamed the shit out of me.
I spent the next decade quite broke and in debt and felt a lot of shame about it. But I was getting my PhD and it was impossible to afford life and I didn’t realize how many of my peers had parental help. it took me a long time to realize being quiet about money is a capitalist power play and encourages us to fester in some imagined inadequacy.
That might be why I ended up taking a truly random career pivot away from academia/ed where I now make about 5x more than I ever dreamed of. And yes, it’s in an insane field known to be horrible (think McKinsey/Goldman) but it’s actually a pretty great role and I live a pretty good lifestyle.
But the point is, I had another real money shock just recently, thanks to you. I was the person in your IG survey who made the highest income of those who reported and I was honestly shocked—and sort of embarrassed? I know this sounds absurd, but now near 40 and surrounded by a lot of highly educated, successful corporate types, I have people tell me I’m underpaid, and tbf, a lot of my peers are making double what I make, in the seven figures.
I am still not sure what I’m trying to say here because I’m still figuring out—sometimes there’s a strange guilt, almost sheepishness to have somehow become the class I never tried to become while doing something that is actually pretty cool and fulfilling. But other times I still feel money anxiety and like I haven’t figured it out despite having what is objectively quite a lot of money. And other times still I don’t relate to my work peers—I don’t buy designer or drive a nice/new car, or ski—my lifestyle doesn’t feel that different to friends making 25% of what I do.
So I’m not sure but these conversations should be more of the norm. Thanks for starting it
Wow, your comment makes me feel soooo many things. I’m SO grateful for you for commenting this and for just sitting thoughtfully in that realization from the money spreadsheet I did too. I think your perspective is so critical to this conversation. The idea that even with hundreds of thousands of dollars, so many still don’t feel secure and stable! It’s so important for bring that up, because it makes it so clear how made up this whole rat race is?!!! Thank you again for sharing and I hope you stay in the conversation! (Also I myself have a core memory of being shamed and pulled aside by a non-profit boss who, in a whispered tone, said I couldn’t talk about money with colleagues -______-)
I've been thinking about this more--re: not feeling secure and stable at a high income (when raised in middle/lower class), the context is usually correlated with being around other people at a high income, which usually correlates to top schools and top jobs (since economic mobility is relatively rare). In my case, literally 80% of my team has a parent who is a C-suite executive at a $1B+ company. So when you compare lifestyle and even attitudes and values to who is around you, the mentality is totally different. I made my stability, but I wasn't born with it. When you have a safety net, if not a trust fund, and most certainly a large inheritance, the existential starting point is totally different.
Just wanted to pop in and say I personally find it SO helpful to hear women’s real-life stories that currently feel unreachable to me. It opens my eyes to what is possible and gets my brain out of the “how to make this marginally better” category and straight into the “how do other people 10x?” line of thinking.
This is incredibly relatable for me- SO much of what you said including sitting with your feelings and reflecting off of them. It’s been such a wild year of uncertainty and this made me feel very seen. Thank you for sharing, Miriam 🤍
This felt like a gift. I’m in a very similar situation and am deeply grateful for your willingness to be open and vulnerable. You’ve captured so much of my experience here - it is validation I never expected to find. I’ve been following you for years and you’ve had an impact on my life. Thank you!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this!
Thankful for your openness, your honesty, and most of all your courage — for being able to share and capture these raw feelings I’ve also felt and gone through ~
Such a big fan of your work! I always enjoy your content, hope you never stop being such a breath of fresh air!
I really was worried about “am I revealing too much?” here, so getting comments like this is lighting a fire in me to keep doing this!
I am in the middle of a career crisis and this was a very interesting point of view to help me reflect on what I want to do with my life. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for writing this! Your transparency about money and your whole thought process is incredibly interesting, and I'm sure really helpful for others. I quit my job last year for similar reasons but also because I needed a break for my mental health. I had a much smaller safety net of money (about 25k AUD total), which was really scary! But it's been almost a year and I'm way happier now pursuing different work options. It's so great seeing you talk about the many aspects to this experience, and I hope people in a similar boat can be inspired. 💕
Wow I love this!!! Are you doing the same kinds of work now that you were doing in your full-time job or trying different things out?
Yeah same work but as a freelancer working from home! And it's given me free time to pursue creative work that I enjoy more ☺️
This is brilliant and brave and kind of delightful. It's worth a whole book. I love the way you think and process the world.
I quit my job last year and took a 6 mo sabbatical! I didn’t earn enough money and had to go back to work, but I went back to work with a new mindset. I went through a lot of the shifts you mention here. Thanks for sharing! And well done! 👏🏻
This was so important for me to read. I'm planning a sabbatical and it feels like I'm planning a suicide which is mostly my own fears but also being in NYC and blah blah. So, thank you. I really needed to hear exactly all of this and I'm really proud of and inspired by you, internet stranger!
Thank you for sharing! Talking so transparently about money and the emotional impact of it can be intimidating, especially when the societal norm is to keep all that under wraps, but I appreciate you for doing so. More and more, we’re seeing people design their lives differently and more aligned with their values. It reminds me that we can reinvent what work means and everything else for that matter because we’re just upholding old, outdated beliefs from those who came before us. The rules can change. They can be reimagined for the better.
I recently quit my career (July 2024) for many of the same reasons you shared here and I had no backup plan. Just my savings and a brutally honest assessment of my values in life. I was also working a remote tech job in California. You sound like a soul sister. I'm so happy to have found you and I'll be checking out your socials and following your journey for sure. I can already tell you're going to do great in life! Thanks for putting this out there. It's incredibly reassuring and inspirational.
Oof I loooved listening to this, it’s really given me additional food for thought! I have long thought that I’m just “not the type” who could plunge into the unknown like you have (prettyyyyy solidly risk-averse), but the more time goes on the more insistently I feel the pull towards wanting to at least try to imagine something different. I feel a correlation here with the book club discussion around how we can’t collectively work towards making something new if we don’t have a vision for the future to begin with, and I love that you outlined some preliminary steps here to try in our own lives.
ALSO, YES to the idea of a portfolio career! I remember hearing that term and being very inspired by it (even if I am very uncertain as to whether/how it could apply to my own path) - there is something so freeing about realizing I could ACTUALLY (potentially) do ALL the different things that I’m intrigued or excited by or good at, without having to niche down - what a thought.
I don’t often read random substacks, but man am I glad this one came across my feed! I read every word and am dealing with a lot of the same “stories” you mention. Still working my FT job, feeling unfulfilled, and desiring a pivot. Thank you for sharing so vulnerably
.
goals. thank you for posting this. currently plotting to make my way out....
Wow this piece resonates with me so deeply - this might just be the post that finally gets me to write on substack after saying I would for years! Thank you for your vulnerability - especially loved how you called out our anxieties and envy / fear are emotions to observe and pay attention to as they might reveal what we actually want!