I wonder if the lack of community is coming from people distancing themselves from organized religions, since we don’t seem to know what else to do with ourselves if we are not part of some shared dogma.
What I have seen is, people usually join a church to get married in, then they move to a new neighborhood, have a kid, join a church so they can have people that could watch their kids, and maybe share some food and gossip.
Our rowing club used to feel like a community too, since we all spent a lot of time practicing, racing, traveling, repairing boats together, volunteering at other regattas…
Community feel is a lot easier to encounter in smaller cities (not suburbs) where a lot of people know each other. Athens, OH is definitely like that. When we visit our cousins, and go anywhere with them, people all greet each other, sit at each other’s tables. People randomly give other people things. That, I think, must be what a community feels like.
The concept of ambition is one I’ve been grappling with recently. I’m a pastry chef and small business owner. I’ve worked almost my whole career in food (12+ yrs) and it’s largely paycheck to paycheck. For the last 4 yrs I’ve also had my own home-based bakery + catering business. I thought working for myself would be a way to escape generational poverty. I think it’s possible to make money doing it, but I tried for four years by myself without the capital necessary to sustain the business long term. I made it this far largely on ambition and blind faith. I take much direction, meaning, and self worth from my work. I’ve always prided myself on being a “hard worker.” And while I knew logically we are each valuable humans pitied of the workplace, part of me felt the need to prove myself against all odds that I could make this work given the circumstances. It has in fact has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done and this has been the hardest year yet.
I’m in business debt and took on personal debt to help make cash flow work in the short term. I’m still in the red, and this month, my long term romantic partner and I are separating. I feel like I’m starting things all over. That I may try this again in the future when I have more resources in a larger city. And a small part of me is also like, “will I still want this once I make the ch changes to get me there?” And I know that as well as spreading joy, I started my business for the ambition, the validation of others, and to just prove that I could do it, that I am someone.
i resonate with this SO strongly - thank you for putting this into words. when i first started working after college 6 years ago i was determined to work as hard as I can in the corporate world to rise up the ranks and "be successful." now i have no interest in that and dont want to be a CEO or leader of anything - i simply want to do a job I enjoy that pays me well. I have been rethinking the whole idea of ambition and whether I still have it. I do, but not regarding work. I'm ambitious to dive deeper into my faith, find new hobbies and learn more about myself.
Also, July’s book reminds me of the winner of Student Podcast Challenge in 2024.
Student podcast explores happiness with or without romance
https://www.npr.org/2025/05/20/nx-s1-5356188/relationship-student-podcast-romance-happiness
I wonder if the lack of community is coming from people distancing themselves from organized religions, since we don’t seem to know what else to do with ourselves if we are not part of some shared dogma.
What I have seen is, people usually join a church to get married in, then they move to a new neighborhood, have a kid, join a church so they can have people that could watch their kids, and maybe share some food and gossip.
Our rowing club used to feel like a community too, since we all spent a lot of time practicing, racing, traveling, repairing boats together, volunteering at other regattas…
Community feel is a lot easier to encounter in smaller cities (not suburbs) where a lot of people know each other. Athens, OH is definitely like that. When we visit our cousins, and go anywhere with them, people all greet each other, sit at each other’s tables. People randomly give other people things. That, I think, must be what a community feels like.
The concept of ambition is one I’ve been grappling with recently. I’m a pastry chef and small business owner. I’ve worked almost my whole career in food (12+ yrs) and it’s largely paycheck to paycheck. For the last 4 yrs I’ve also had my own home-based bakery + catering business. I thought working for myself would be a way to escape generational poverty. I think it’s possible to make money doing it, but I tried for four years by myself without the capital necessary to sustain the business long term. I made it this far largely on ambition and blind faith. I take much direction, meaning, and self worth from my work. I’ve always prided myself on being a “hard worker.” And while I knew logically we are each valuable humans pitied of the workplace, part of me felt the need to prove myself against all odds that I could make this work given the circumstances. It has in fact has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done and this has been the hardest year yet.
I’m in business debt and took on personal debt to help make cash flow work in the short term. I’m still in the red, and this month, my long term romantic partner and I are separating. I feel like I’m starting things all over. That I may try this again in the future when I have more resources in a larger city. And a small part of me is also like, “will I still want this once I make the ch changes to get me there?” And I know that as well as spreading joy, I started my business for the ambition, the validation of others, and to just prove that I could do it, that I am someone.
i resonate with this SO strongly - thank you for putting this into words. when i first started working after college 6 years ago i was determined to work as hard as I can in the corporate world to rise up the ranks and "be successful." now i have no interest in that and dont want to be a CEO or leader of anything - i simply want to do a job I enjoy that pays me well. I have been rethinking the whole idea of ambition and whether I still have it. I do, but not regarding work. I'm ambitious to dive deeper into my faith, find new hobbies and learn more about myself.
Thanks for reading and the thoughtful words on my piece! Really appreciate you sharing and grappling my with these ideas as well <3